by Dan Jones
There’s an old Monty Python skit I told Allen Jones and Beth Crosby I had an urge to “modify” for Kinship Christian Radio, so here goes:
Announcer: It’s a beautiful spring day on the patio outside the Golden Calf Restaurant. Bob and Bobbie Smythe-Curry are each enjoying a refreshing glass of ice tea.
Bob: It certainly is a beautiful spring day, isn’t it dear?
Bobbie: Oh, I should say so. It’s like that day in Fargo all over again.
Bob: Yes. Yes I should say so.
Bobbie: Oh look, dear, it appears that poor man over there has no where to sit.
Bob: Yes, well, I’m sure a table will open up for him soon.
Bobbie: But his ice cream is melting and he’s carrying that huge book. Let’s invite him to sit with us!
Bob: Well, ummm, I’m not sure. He could be….you know.
Bobbie: Oh please, dear.
Bob. Well, all right then. You there, sir. You with the book, please come and join us.
Man: Me? Are you talking to me?
Bob: Yes, yes please come and join us.
Man: Are you sure? I won’t be disturbing you?
Bobbie: No, please. Please come and join us.
Man: Well, hallelujah! Thank you so very much.
(Sound of chair sliding back. The man sighs as he sits down)
Man: Praise God! So very nice to meet you both! Now, you’re sure I won’t be disturbing you in the least?
Bobbie: No, no! Not in the least!
Man: Because I wouldn’t want to be disturbing, especially when you’re being so kind (Praise God!) about not being disturbed and all.
Bob: No, no. It’s quite all right.
Man: Good, good! HALLELUJAH! Because you know, I am a Christian, and, well, some people take offense…and when I specifically tell people that I am disturbing, well, a lot of them are far less understanding than you are.
Bob: You’re a ….a Christian?
Man: Yes! PRAISE GOD!
Bobbie: Oh, you mean like an actual Christian?
Man: Right. Born again! Rescued for His glory! AMEN! HALLELUJAH!…I’m sorry did that disturb you?
Man: No, I guess not. It’s not actually all that disturbing…
Man: No, no! It’s not! It’s glorious! Really! HALLELUJAH!! PRAISE JESUS!
Bobbie. (shocked) Oh!
Bob: Oh my indeed.
Man: And if I should start to read aloud from my Bible, I really do get the most extraordinary looks… “For GOD so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER would…”
Bob: Perhaps we should be going, dear. We wouldn’t want to be late for that…errr…thing we have, right dear?
Man: (Dejectedly) Oh, now I have gone and disturbed you, haven’t I? I knew it. People say they won’t be disturbed, but it always happens. Just when I think I’m being an effective witness…
Bobbie: Oh, now you’ve hurt his feelings, Bob. Let’s stay.
Bob: Right, right. Well I suppose….But we really do have a thing. Later, I mean.
Man: You’re very kind. HALLELUJAH!! PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!
Bobbie: Hallelujah!
Bob: Really dear?
Man: HALLELUJAH!! JESUS IS LORD!
Bobbie: It’s kind of contagious, Bob.
Man: GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!
Bobbie: HALLELUJAH!!
Bob: Hallelujah!
Man: …that WHOSOEVER would believe would NOT PERISH but would have ETERNAL LIFE!
Bob: HALLELUJAH!
Bobbie: PRAISE JESUS! HALLELUJAH!
Today’s Praise
“Paul and Silas have caused trouble all over the world,” they shouted, “and now they are here disturbing our city, too. (Acts 17:6b NLT)