If you’ve listened to Kinship Christian Radio for any length of time, you’ve probably heard Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” mentioned.
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 2 Corinthians 12:7 (ESV)
Over the years, there has been much speculation by many theologians about what Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” could have been. Some have conjectured that it was malaria, Malta fever, epilepsy, convulsive attacks, or chronic ophthalmia. Still others have gone so far as to posit carnal temptation or depression. Most say that there are very few clues in Scripture.
But, in my humble opinion, I think there are a few clues.
We know that Paul (at the time called Saul of Tarsus and a high-level Pharisee) was not only present at the stoning of Steven, but approved of it. (Acts 8:1) Further, Acts 8:3 says,
But Saul was going everywhere to destroy the church. He went from house to house, dragging out both men and women to throw them into prison. (NLT)
When Paul (now an apostle) appears before King Agrippa after the Jewish leaders call for his death, this is what he says in his defense:
“I used to believe that I ought to do everything I could to oppose the very name of Jesus the Nazarene. Indeed, I did just that in Jerusalem. Authorized by the leading priests, I caused many believers there to be sent to prison. And I cast my vote against them when they were condemned to death. Many times I had them punished in the synagogues to get them to curse Jesus. I was so violently opposed to them that I even chased them down in foreign cities.” Acts 26:9-11 (NLT)
So Paul was not only responsible for the death of Stephen, he would also bear the guilt for all those he had dragged off, thrown in prison, and then voted to have executed. He was obviously very serious in his opposition to Jesus and His people.
Paul’s description of his qualifications as a Pharisee are well-known:
I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. Philippians 3:5 (NLT)
In fact, Saul’s reputation with the early church was such that he did not go to Jerusalem and meet the apostles until three years after (Galatians 1:17) his encounter with Jesus and conversion on the road to Damascus described in Acts 9. He was greatly feared and, understandably, not immediately accepted into the inner circle of the early church.
All of this got me to thinking that maybe, just maybe, Paul’s thorn in the flesh was the recurring guilt of having persecuted, tortured, and killed Christians in the very name of the God he thought he served.
Certainly, Saul the Pharisee had been thoroughly convinced that what he was doing was right. These people of “The Way” were heretics, in his mind, who deserved death for the blasphemy of worshiping a mere man named Jesus as the very Son of God.
Only a direct, earth-shattering, soul-changing intervention by the risen and glorified Jesus Himself in person could have changed his mind and his soul.
And it did.
And, when we look at that sentence where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh, he specifically calls it a messenger of Satan. He says the thorn was torment him. Other translations say, “buffet.” The Greek word is κολαφίζῃ which is defined as “To strike with the fist, buffet; hence: I mistreat violently. From a derivative of the base of kolazo; to rap with the fist.”
Some scholars have pointed out that the word we translate as “thorn” is σκόλοψ in Greek, which could also be interpreted as a stake, rather than a thorn.
Whatever the case, it’s pretty clear that Paul does not consider this thorn in the flesh a mere pin-prick. He asked God three times to take it away from him. It clearly caused him some serious discomfort.
That’s another reason I’m thinking it could be that guilt of his former life. Guilt and shame are sharp, stabbing, and much like a punch in the face, can be debilitating, especially when it comes to being an effective witness and ambassador for Christ.
Satan is referred to as “the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night” in Revelation 12:10. The devil knows that if we do not consider ourselves worthy of God’s love, if we believe that what we have done is so bad that God can never forgive us, we will never be able to tell others of His love.
Indeed, if the great accuser is successful in his accusations, the cross is emptied of its power. If Jesus’ death did not atone for our sins, if we still stand accused and guilty. If we are not forgiven, we have no power to proclaim forgiveness to anyone else.
Shame and guilt effectively negate forgiveness and stand in direct contradiction to the love of God as embodied in Christ Jesus. Our weakness is left only as weakness if the shame and guilt remain.
But it doesn’t.
If you look at Paul’s “wretched man lament” in Romans 7:15-24 where he goes on for quite some time about his struggle with sin, of doing what he does not want to do even though he knows what he should do, he immediately follows that with this glorious explanation in Romans 8 of why there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus (vs. 1) and by the time he gets to verses 33 and 34 he is directly in the face of the great accuser:
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Romans 8:33&34 (NLT)
And that’s why Paul’s guilt and shame would not only keep him humble, but be all the more glorious when he remembers that it’s all wiped away, all nailed to the cross and crucified with Jesus. The proof positive of Paul’s forgiveness and the redemption of all those who believe in Jesus is the empty tomb and the living Jesus! The accuser is revealed for what he is: a thief, a murderer, and a liar. JESUS LIVES!
In the end, all of this conjecture on my part about Paul’s guilt and shame is just that –conjecture. I think there is evidence to wonder if that could be the case, and certainly if you suffer from guilt and shame you should absolutely know that for those who believe that Jesus died for their sins and rose from the grave, if you have repented and asked Jesus for forgiveness, you no longer stand accused. Your sins, and your guilt and shame, have been taken away as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12)
But we should also praise God that the Holy Spirit led Paul to leave out the specifics about what that thorn in the flesh was because this means that whoever reads that passage who was any kind of thorn in the flesh be it sickness, disease, illness, insults, hardships, persecutions, troubles, or affliction of any type can read that passage knowing that the LORD’s strength works perfectly in our weaknesses no matter what our own particular thorn in the flesh might be.
Today’s Praise
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38&39 (NLT)